Hrithik Roshan trolled on whatsapp
Showing posts with label Hindi Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hindi Jokes. Show all posts
Wednesday, 24 September 2014
Salman Khan Vs Suzzane Roshan – #Kick
Salman khan made KICK to earn 200 Crores
Suzzane Gave KICK, will get 400 Crores
#PoorHrithik
Sabse Tez Udne Wala Pakshi
Teacher – kaunsa panchhi sabse tez udta hai?
Boy – sir … haathi
Teacher – nalayak! Tera baap kya karta hai?
Boy – chhota rajan ke gang mey shooter hai.
Teacher – shabash! !! Bachho likho Haathi..
WhatsApp Joke – Bollywood Hindi Songs & Their Medical Meanings
Hindi Songs & their Medical Meanings:-
Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale..
Fever
Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi..
Heart Attack
Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge..
Constipation
Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai..
Acidity
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon..
Cataract
Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna..
Alzheimer?s
Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole..
Vertigo
Tip-Tip Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayi..
Urinary Infection
Dil Dhadak-Dhadak Ke Keh Raha Hai..
Hypertension
Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen Par Nahi Padte Mere..
Corn On Feet
Haay-Re-Haay Neend Nahi Aaye..
Insomnia
Batana Bhi Nahi Aata, Chupana Bhi Nahi Aata..
Piles
And Sabse Mast
Lagi Aaj Saawan Ki Phir Wo Zadi Hai..
Loose Motion
Hasso Mat, jaldi Share karo..
Beemari purani hain, Joke naya hai
Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale..
Fever
Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi..
Heart Attack
Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge..
Constipation
Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai..
Acidity
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon..
Cataract
Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna..
Alzheimer?s
Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole..
Vertigo
Tip-Tip Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayi..
Urinary Infection
Dil Dhadak-Dhadak Ke Keh Raha Hai..
Hypertension
Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen Par Nahi Padte Mere..
Corn On Feet
Haay-Re-Haay Neend Nahi Aaye..
Insomnia
Batana Bhi Nahi Aata, Chupana Bhi Nahi Aata..
Piles
And Sabse Mast
Lagi Aaj Saawan Ki Phir Wo Zadi Hai..
Loose Motion
Hasso Mat, jaldi Share karo..
Beemari purani hain, Joke naya hai
Hanuman Jee Ki Patang
Ek din Hanuman jee patang uda rhe the
Upar se yamraj ne patang ki kanni kaat di
Hanuman jee bole
“Mangal bhawan amangal hari,
niche aaebe to tohar patak ke maari”
Boy Trolled By A Girl In A Park
Boy and girl were sitting in a park
2 dogs kissed each other
Boy – jaanu agar tum bura Na mano to main bhi?
.
Girl- ok, par sambhal ke..
kahi, kutta kaat na le.\
April Fool Joke – Bachcha Aur Mummy
Chota Bachcha (Pappu) Bhaga-Bhaga Maa Ke Pass Aaya Aur Bola..
Mummy-Mummy, Naukar Kitchen Mein Naukrani Ko Kiss Kar Raha Hai
Mummy Ye Sun Ke Kaam Chhod Ke Kitchen Mein Jane Lagi Aur Boli..
Mummy: Ruk Ja Abhi Uska Dimag Thikane Lagati Hoon
Pappu Tali Bajate Hue Bola:
Mummy, April fool!! Wo Naukar Nahi Wo To Papa The
Pappu Ki Girlriend
Pappu apni girlfriend se bola:
Ameer se Ameer aadmi bhi mere pitaaji ke saamne katora lekar khada rehta hai!
Girlfriend: Phir to tumhare pitaji bahut ameer honge!
Pappu: Nahin, wo Golgappe bechte hain
Ameer se Ameer aadmi bhi mere pitaaji ke saamne katora lekar khada rehta hai!
Girlfriend: Phir to tumhare pitaji bahut ameer honge!
Pappu: Nahin, wo Golgappe bechte hain
Funny – Driving In Punjab
DRIVING IN PUNJAB.
(1)The one who drives faster than you gets: “Vekh kiwen agg laggi aa kanjar nu…”
(2)The one who drives slower than you gets: “Gaddi chalauni aundi nai.. Par laini zaroor aa..”.
(3)And finally the one who drives equal to you: “Achha, Peo naal raceaan!!!”
Chalaak Aadmi Aur Bhagwan
Ek aadmi boat se kahi ja raha tha…
achanak se zor se hawa challi aur uski boat palat gayi.!
Usey tairna nhi aata tha..
Woh prarthana krne laga
“Bhagwan, agar mujhe bacha liya toh me garibo mei 21 kilo laddu batunga.!”
fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi si lehere usey zamin pe le gayi.
Woh khada hua, aur haste hue upar dekh ke bola,
“Haha, kaise laddu, kaunse laddu..?”
Fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi leher ne usey wapis pani mei kheech liya.
Wo banda fir chilla ke bola..
“Matlab main puch raha tha besan ke ya boondi ke..?”
achanak se zor se hawa challi aur uski boat palat gayi.!
Usey tairna nhi aata tha..
Woh prarthana krne laga
“Bhagwan, agar mujhe bacha liya toh me garibo mei 21 kilo laddu batunga.!”
fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi si lehere usey zamin pe le gayi.
Woh khada hua, aur haste hue upar dekh ke bola,
“Haha, kaise laddu, kaunse laddu..?”
Fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi leher ne usey wapis pani mei kheech liya.
Wo banda fir chilla ke bola..
“Matlab main puch raha tha besan ke ya boondi ke..?”
DAAG Achhe Hain
Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diya
Ladki: I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi
Bachchaa: It’s OK baby, “Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain”
Ladki: I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi
Bachchaa: It’s OK baby, “Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe hain”
Bus Ke Darwaze Par
Pappu roz bus ke darwaje par khada hoke traval karta tha..
Ek din
Bus conductor : tu roz darvaze mein kadha rehta hein,
Tera baap kahin pe choukidar hein kya?
Pappu replies :
tu roz paise mangta hai, to tera baap pehle bhikari tha kya…!
Modern Bhikhari Aur Dadi Ma Joke
Bhikhari:
Daadi roti dijiye.. khaane ke liye
Daadi:
Abhi taiyaar nahin hui, baad mein aana..
Bhikhari:
95 95 97 97 98
Yeh mera mobile number hai,
Taiyaar hote hi missed call kar dena
“Bhikhari rocks, Daadi shocks”
—-
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost..
Daadi:
Arey missed call kya karna
Thodi der ke baad jab roti ban jayegi
To whatsapp par upload kar dungi,
Download karke kha lena!!
.
Ab Daadi rocks!, Bhikhari Shocks!
Daadi roti dijiye.. khaane ke liye
Daadi:
Abhi taiyaar nahin hui, baad mein aana..
Bhikhari:
95 95 97 97 98
Yeh mera mobile number hai,
Taiyaar hote hi missed call kar dena
“Bhikhari rocks, Daadi shocks”
—-
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost..
Daadi:
Arey missed call kya karna
Thodi der ke baad jab roti ban jayegi
To whatsapp par upload kar dungi,
Download karke kha lena!!
.
Ab Daadi rocks!, Bhikhari Shocks!
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
Girlfriend Ka Birthday
Ek ladke ki girlfriend ka birthday tha
Wo city se bahar tha isliye usne uske liye 24 gulab ke phool book kar diye :
Usne apni gf ko phone per kaha....
maine tumhare liye utne hi rose ke flowers bheje hain jitne years ki tum aaj ho gayi ho..
Udhr phoolwale ne socha – in bhai sahab ne pehli bar meri shop se order kiya h 10 phool jyada dunga to agli bar bhi yahi aayenge. ….and usne 24 ki jagah 34 flowers bhijwa diye
ladka BECHARA aaj tak nhi samajh paya ki akhir uska breakup kyun hua!
Wo city se bahar tha isliye usne uske liye 24 gulab ke phool book kar diye :
Usne apni gf ko phone per kaha....
maine tumhare liye utne hi rose ke flowers bheje hain jitne years ki tum aaj ho gayi ho..
Udhr phoolwale ne socha – in bhai sahab ne pehli bar meri shop se order kiya h 10 phool jyada dunga to agli bar bhi yahi aayenge. ….and usne 24 ki jagah 34 flowers bhijwa diye
ladka BECHARA aaj tak nhi samajh paya ki akhir uska breakup kyun hua!
Gujrati, Madrasi And Sardaar
A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were having lunch and Gujju opened his lunch box & said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”
The Sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”
The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.
The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.
The Sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, Gujju’s wife was weeping..
She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”
She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”
The Madrasi’s wife also wept
and said, “I could have given him dossa!I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”
and said, “I could have given him dossa!I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the Santa Sardaar’s wife.
.
.
The Sardar’s wife said,
“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”
“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”
Funny Memsaab – Kamwali Bai Joke
Aaj Jo ek aurat ke sath hua woh kisi dushman ke saath bhi na ho…
Subhah uthi?…..
breakfast banaya
lunch banaya
bachoo ko khilaya :
Pati ko khilaya.
unhe tayaar karke, tiffin deke bheja!
Joothe bartan ikhatha karke rakh diye!
kapde washing machine mein daal diye..
Phir shower lene chali gai!
bahar nikalkar nail paint lagayi!!
hair dry kiye..
Red suit pehna…
kajal lagaya…
lipstick lagai..
hair style kiya…
Bus duppata hi lene wali thi!!
…Ki uska mobile baja!!
jaise hi usne phone uthaya..
Usse laga jaise kisine garam lohe ka hathoda uske kaan par maar diya ho
aur chillayi…
Kya…??
Kya…..??
Kya bol rahi hai tu ??
Udhar se aawaz aayi: Memsaab mereko bukhar hai ….ajj kaam par nahi aaugi….!!
NAHIIIIIIIIIII….. memsaab behosh!!
Subhah uthi?…..
breakfast banaya
lunch banaya
bachoo ko khilaya :
Pati ko khilaya.
unhe tayaar karke, tiffin deke bheja!
Joothe bartan ikhatha karke rakh diye!
kapde washing machine mein daal diye..
Phir shower lene chali gai!
bahar nikalkar nail paint lagayi!!
hair dry kiye..
Red suit pehna…
kajal lagaya…
lipstick lagai..
hair style kiya…
Bus duppata hi lene wali thi!!
…Ki uska mobile baja!!
jaise hi usne phone uthaya..
Usse laga jaise kisine garam lohe ka hathoda uske kaan par maar diya ho
aur chillayi…
Kya…??
Kya…..??
Kya bol rahi hai tu ??
Udhar se aawaz aayi: Memsaab mereko bukhar hai ….ajj kaam par nahi aaugi….!!
NAHIIIIIIIIIII….. memsaab behosh!!
Hindi Jokes – Aajkal Ki Generation Ke Bachche
KID FAILS IN EXAM
Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna…!
Son:
Oh, come On Dad,
It Was Just A ‘School Test’
Not A “DNA” Test…!
————————-
Teacher : Murgiyo ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Son of Sardar : Sir, agar murgiyo ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na...
————————
Teacher- Chaand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu – NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra ??
Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga….. Langdi taang khelne thode na gaya tha woh!
————————-
Teacher – paani me rahne vale 5 jeevo ke naam batao.?
Pappu – Mendak
Teacher – very good, baaki char bolo..
Pappu –
uski maa,
uska baap,
uski behan aur
uska bhai!!
Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna…!
Son:
Oh, come On Dad,
It Was Just A ‘School Test’
Not A “DNA” Test…!
————————-
Teacher : Murgiyo ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Son of Sardar : Sir, agar murgiyo ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na...
————————
Teacher- Chaand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu – NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra ??
Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga….. Langdi taang khelne thode na gaya tha woh!
————————-
Teacher – paani me rahne vale 5 jeevo ke naam batao.?
Pappu – Mendak
Teacher – very good, baaki char bolo..
Pappu –
uski maa,
uska baap,
uski behan aur
uska bhai!!
Latest Alia Bhatt Funny Jokes
Alia RETURNS
Media: Where were you born?
Alia: India ..
Media: which part?
Alia: What, which part? Whole body was born in India .
——————————-
Alia and Pooja were fixing a bomb in a car.
Pooja: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Alia: Don’t worry, I have one more.
——————————-
Alia: What is the name of your car?
Pooja: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Alia: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
——————————-
Alia joined new job.
1st day she worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Alia: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
——————————-
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken..
Alia: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
——————————-
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Alia: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
——————————-
Alia: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Alia: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ?All India Radio! ?
——————————-
NOW THE LAST ONE ULTIMATE:
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Alia: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Alia: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.
Media: Where were you born?
Alia: India ..
Media: which part?
Alia: What, which part? Whole body was born in India .
——————————-
Alia and Pooja were fixing a bomb in a car.
Pooja: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Alia: Don’t worry, I have one more.
——————————-
Alia: What is the name of your car?
Pooja: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Alia: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
——————————-
Alia joined new job.
1st day she worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Alia: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
——————————-
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken..
Alia: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
——————————-
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Alia: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
——————————-
Alia: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Alia: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ?All India Radio! ?
——————————-
NOW THE LAST ONE ULTIMATE:
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Alia: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Alia: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.
Top Funny PJ Jokes From WhatsApp
Q1. Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi…
Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ??
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener (Obviously, this Joke is old, as Tendulkar is already retired
—————-
Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’…
Which movie did he really want to see..?
Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai…!
—————-
Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil mein hain, Mann mein hai par Dhadkan mein nahi?
Ans:- Arey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
—————-
Q4. What will you call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho……………
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
—————-
Q5. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha uska naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas?
—————-
Q6. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!
—————-
Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
OK lot’s of head scratching done…
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!
—————-
Q7. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
nahi pata..??
Ans:- D’Cold
(Chain ki saans – D’cold )
—————-
Q8. Chalo ab batao… Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai?
this is quite simple..
Ans:- D’Cold again…
Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi…
Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ??
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener (Obviously, this Joke is old, as Tendulkar is already retired
—————-
Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’…
Which movie did he really want to see..?
Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai…!
—————-
Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil mein hain, Mann mein hai par Dhadkan mein nahi?
Ans:- Arey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
—————-
Q4. What will you call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho……………
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
—————-
Q5. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha uska naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas?
—————-
Q6. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!
—————-
Now Kush also jumps inside. Why?
OK lot’s of head scratching done…
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!
—————-
Q7. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?..
nahi pata..??
Ans:- D’Cold
(Chain ki saans – D’cold )
—————-
Q8. Chalo ab batao… Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai?
this is quite simple..
Ans:- D’Cold again…
Kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi…
Waah Re Prabhu – Funny Bhikhari Joke
Ek Faqeer tha…
Bheekh maangne ke liye masjid ke bahar baitha tha..
Sab namaazi Ankh bacha kar chale gaye
Aur use kuchh na mila.
Wo phir church gaya,
Phir mandir
Or
Phir gurudware.
Lekin, usko kisi ne kuch na diya..
Aakhir mein wo Ek Beer bar ke bahar aa kar baith gaya..
Jo bhi sharabi bahar nikalte
woh uske katore me kuch daal dete..
woh uske katore me kuch daal dete..
Uska katora noto se bhar gaya…
Fakir bola.
“Waah re Prabhu”
Rehte kahan ho, Aur Address kahan ka Dete ho..!
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