Hrithik Roshan trolled on whatsa...
Wednesday, 24 September 2014
Salman Khan Vs Suzzane Roshan – #Kick
Salman khan made KICK to earn 200 Crores
Suzzane Gave KICK, will get 400 Crores
#PoorHrith...
Sabse Tez Udne Wala Pakshi
Teacher – kaunsa panchhi sabse tez udta hai?
Boy – sir … haathi
Teacher – nalayak! Tera baap kya karta hai?
Boy – chhota rajan ke gang mey shooter hai.
Teacher – shabash! !! Bachho likho Haathi..&nbs...
WhatsApp Joke – Bollywood Hindi Songs & Their Medical Meanings
Hindi Songs & their Medical Meanings:-
Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale..
Fever
Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi..
Heart Attack
Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge..
Constipation
Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai..
Acidity
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon..
Cataract
Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna..
Alzheimer?s
Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole..
Vertigo
Tip-Tip Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayi..
Urinary Infection
Dil Dhadak-Dhadak Ke Keh Raha Hai..
Hypertension
Aaj Kal Paaon...
MBBS Students In Anatomy Class
1st year MBBS students were attending their 1st anatomy class.
They all gathered around the table with real dead body.
The professor started the class by telling them two important qualities as a doctor.
The 1st is that never be disgusted about anything regarding the body e.g. he inserted his finger in the body’s nose & on drawing back, put the finger in his own mouth & tasted it.
Then he told the students to do the same.
The students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually everyone inserted their fingers in the body’s...
Hanuman Jee Ki Patang
Ek din Hanuman jee patang uda rhe the
Upar se yamraj ne patang ki kanni kaat di
Hanuman jee bole
“Mangal bhawan amangal hari,
niche aaebe to tohar patak ke maar...
Boy Trolled By A Girl In A Park
Boy and girl were sitting in a park
2 dogs kissed each other
Boy – jaanu agar tum bura Na mano to main bhi?
.
Girl- ok, par sambhal ke..
kahi, kutta kaat na le...
April Fool Joke – Bachcha Aur Mummy
Chota Bachcha (Pappu) Bhaga-Bhaga Maa Ke Pass Aaya Aur Bola..
Mummy-Mummy, Naukar Kitchen Mein Naukrani Ko Kiss Kar Raha Hai
Mummy Ye Sun Ke Kaam Chhod Ke Kitchen Mein Jane Lagi Aur Boli..
Mummy: Ruk Ja Abhi Uska Dimag Thikane Lagati Hoon
Pappu Tali Bajate Hue Bola:
Mummy, April fool!! Wo Naukar Nahi Wo To Papa The&nbs...
Pappu Ki Girlriend
Pappu apni girlfriend se bola:
Ameer se Ameer aadmi bhi mere pitaaji ke saamne katora lekar khada rehta hai!
Girlfriend: Phir to tumhare pitaji bahut ameer honge!
Pappu: Nahin, wo Golgappe bechte h...
Funny – Driving In Punjab
DRIVING IN PUNJAB.
(1)The one who drives faster than you gets: “Vekh kiwen agg laggi aa kanjar nu…”
(2)The one who drives slower than you gets: “Gaddi chalauni aundi nai.. Par laini zaroor aa..”.
(3)And finally the one who drives equal to you: “Achha, Peo naal raceaan!!!”&nbs...
Chalaak Aadmi Aur Bhagwan
Ek aadmi boat se kahi ja raha tha…
achanak se zor se hawa challi aur uski boat palat gayi.!
Usey tairna nhi aata tha..
Woh prarthana krne laga
“Bhagwan, agar mujhe bacha liya toh me garibo mei 21 kilo laddu batunga.!”
fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi si lehere usey zamin pe le gayi.
Woh khada hua, aur haste hue upar dekh ke bola,
“Haha, kaise laddu, kaunse laddu..?”
Fir zor se hawa chali aur ek badi leher ne usey wapis pani mei kheech liya.
Wo banda fir chilla ke bola..
“Matlab main puch raha tha besan ke ya boondi ke....
DAAG Achhe Hain
Ek Cute se bachhe ko dekh kar Ek Ladki ne uske Gaal par KISS kar diya
Ladki: I am Sorry, Apke Gaal par Lipstik Lag gayi
Bachchaa: It’s OK baby, “Kuch achha karne se agar DAAG lagte hain to DAAG achhe ha...
Bus Ke Darwaze Par
Pappu roz bus ke darwaje par khada hoke traval karta tha..
Ek din
Bus conductor : tu roz darvaze mein kadha rehta hein,
Tera baap kahin pe choukidar hein kya?
Pappu replies :
tu roz paise mangta hai, to tera baap pehle bhikari tha kya…!&nbs...
Modern Bhikhari Aur Dadi Ma Joke
Bhikhari:
Daadi roti dijiye.. khaane ke liye
Daadi:
Abhi taiyaar nahin hui, baad mein aana..
Bhikhari:
95 95 97 97 98
Yeh mera mobile number hai,
Taiyaar hote hi missed call kar dena
“Bhikhari rocks, Daadi shocks”
—-
Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost..
Daadi:
Arey missed call kya karna
Thodi der ke baad jab roti ban jayegi
To whatsapp par upload kar dungi,
Download karke kha lena!!
.
Ab Daadi rocks!, Bhikhari Shoc...
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment...
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
A police officer pulls over a speeding car
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ‘I clocked you at 120 km/h sir.’The driver says, ‘Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.’Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, ‘Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, ‘Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?’The wife smiles demurely and says, ‘You should be thankful your...
List of 100 Jokes
1_What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
2_My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.
4_Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
5_What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice...
Girlfriend Ka Birthday
Ek ladke ki girlfriend ka birthday tha
Wo city se bahar tha isliye usne uske liye 24 gulab ke phool book kar diye :
Usne apni gf ko phone per kaha....
maine tumhare liye utne hi rose ke flowers bheje hain jitne years ki tum aaj ho gayi ho..
Udhr phoolwale ne socha – in bhai sahab ne pehli bar meri shop se order kiya h 10 phool jyada dunga to agli bar bhi yahi aayenge. ….and usne 24 ki jagah 34 flowers bhijwa diye
ladka BECHARA aaj tak nhi samajh paya ki akhir uska breakup kyun h...
Gujrati, Madrasi And Sardaar
A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a Sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were having lunch and Gujju opened his lunch box & said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”
The Sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”
The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch...
Rearranging Letters Make These Names Funny
This has got to be one of the cleverest messages I’ve received in a while,
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!)
1. DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
A SPARKLING DRIVE
2. PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN
3. MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN
4. DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
5. ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
6. DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A...
Never Mess With Kids
A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.The man turned to him and said, “Let’s talk”.
Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?
Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?
Kid:Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.Why?
Man: I don’t know.
Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss nuclear issues when you don’t know shit.....
Funny Memsaab – Kamwali Bai Joke
Aaj Jo ek aurat ke sath hua woh kisi dushman ke saath bhi na ho…
Subhah uthi?…..
breakfast banaya
lunch banaya
bachoo ko khilaya :
Pati ko khilaya.
unhe tayaar karke, tiffin deke bheja!
Joothe bartan ikhatha karke rakh diye!
kapde washing machine mein daal diye..
Phir shower lene chali gai!
bahar nikalkar nail paint lagayi!!
hair dry kiye..
Red suit pehna…
kajal lagaya…
lipstick lagai..
hair style kiya…
Bus duppata hi lene wali thi!!
…Ki uska mobile baja!!
jaise hi usne phone uthaya..
Usse laga jaise kisine garam lohe ka hathoda...
Hindi Jokes – Aajkal Ki Generation Ke Bachche
KID FAILS IN EXAM
Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna…!
Son:
Oh, come On Dad,
It Was Just A ‘School Test’
Not A “DNA” Test…!
————————-
Teacher : Murgiyo ki taange chhoti kyu hoti hai ?
Son of Sardar : Sir, agar murgiyo ki taange Lambi hoti to Ande itne upar se gir kar toot jate na...
————————
Teacher- Chaand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu – NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra ??
Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga….. Langdi taang khelne thode na gaya tha woh!
————————-
Teacher – paani me rahne vale 5 jeevo ke naam batao.?
Pappu...
Latest Alia Bhatt Funny Jokes
Alia RETURNS
Media: Where were you born?
Alia: India ..
Media: which part?
Alia: What, which part? Whole body was born in India .
——————————-
Alia and Pooja were fixing a bomb in a car.
Pooja: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Alia: Don’t worry, I have one more.
——————————-
Alia: What is the name of your car?
Pooja: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Alia: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
——————————-
Alia joined new job.
1st day she worked till late evening on the...
Top Funny PJ Jokes From WhatsApp
Q1. Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi…
Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ??
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener (Obviously, this Joke is old, as Tendulkar is already retired
—————-
Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’…
Which movie did he really want to see..?
Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai…!
—————-
Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil mein hain, Mann mein hai par Dhadkan mein nahi?
Ans:- Arey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
—————-
Q4. What will you call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho……………
Ans:- Hindustan...
Funny Joke On Teachers
Teacher in class:
Suno bachcho kal tum logo ka group photo shoot hoga..
Sab log apne apne ghar se Rs.50/-le kar aana
Pappu (to his friend):
Saala ye sab teacher logo ki mili bhagat hoti hai..
Ek photo ke 20/- rupaye lagte hai,
aur hum logo se 50-50 rupaye liye ja rahe hai…
Matlab ek bachche se 30/- Rupye bachayenge,
matlab akele apni class me 60 bachche hai to 60*30=1800 Rs. .
khuli Loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne…
Fir hamare paiso se ye sab staff room me
baith ke samosa khayenge aur hum bachchon ko milega Ghanta…
Chal bhai tappu ghar chalte...
Best WhatsApp Quotes On Programming Languages
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
-Michael Sinz
Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet.
-Chris Heilmann
Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray.
-Sam Redwine
In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not.
-Yogi Berra
God could create the world in six days because he didn’t have to make it compatible with the previous version.
-Anonymous
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the...
Waah Re Prabhu – Funny Bhikhari Joke
Ek Faqeer tha…
Bheekh maangne ke liye masjid ke bahar baitha tha..
Sab namaazi Ankh bacha kar chale gaye
Aur use kuchh na mila.
Wo phir church gaya,
Phir mandir
Or
Phir gurudware.
Lekin, usko kisi ne kuch na diya..
Aakhir mein wo Ek Beer bar ke bahar aa kar baith gaya..
Jo bhi sharabi bahar nikalte
woh uske katore me kuch daal dete..
Uska katora noto se bhar gaya…
Fakir bola.
“Waah re Prabhu”
Rehte kahan ho, Aur Address kahan ka Dete ho....
Pooja Aur Namaaz Karne Wale Tote
Ek pinjare mein kuchh Tote (parrots) ek Toti ko chhed rahe the..
Jabki doosre pinjare mein Ek tota pooja aur Dusra Tota Namaaz padh raha tha!
Malik ne socha: Kitne nek tote hain, Inke pinjare mein toti surakshit rahegi.
Usne toti ko nek toto ke pinjare mein daal diya.
To pooja karne wala tota namaaz padhne wale tote se bola…
“Utho miyaan Dua kabool ho gay...
Ek Mareez, Doctor Aur Uski Biwi
Patient: Doctor sahab, Jaldi kuchh karo, mere pairo par ek aurat ne gaadi chadha di.
Doctor ne achche se check kiya, aur paaya ki bahut mamooli si chot hai, par mareez ghabraya hua hai!
Doctor bola: O ho, bhai operation karna padega, Bahut kharcha aayega… taiyaar ho?
Mareez: Kuchh bhi karo, jaldi karo. Kameeni ne mara hua soch kar uthaya bhi nahin!!
Itne mein hi Doctor ki biwi ka phone aa gaya…
Doctor: Hello…
Biwi: Hello chhodo, yeh batao, main kya karoon?
mujhse Car chalate mein ek aadmi mar gaya, Jai Hind chauk par!
Doctor: Aadmi ne kapde...
These Funny 2-Liners Will Surely Give You A Good Laugh
“If the loser smiles after losing the game, the winner loses the thrill of his victory”!!
That’s the power of Smile !!
——————————
Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman……
Because Women don’t run behind Unsuccessful Men!!
——————————
‘Sympathy’… You can get from Anybody —
But..! ‘Jealousy’… You have to Earn it!
——————————
Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall ….
And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch …. It’ll move on its own!!
—————————–
Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth:
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Females...
Funny Indian Facts And Jokes
Insaan sub se zyada maafi kis ke saamane mangta hai?
Guess,
guess!
aap soch rahe ho wife??
nahin,
Bihkari ke saamne —- “Maaf karo Baba”
——————————
One economical thought:
‘The best line which helps you save money when going for dinner with your girlfriend- . . .
“Bol kya khayegi MOTI?”
——————————
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hai ya aqalmandi?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai..
——————————
National food of India —- “KASAM”
Sab khaate hain….
——————————
THIS is...
Husband Jaisa Bhi Ho
Husband Jaisa Bhi Ho,,
Awara, Pagal, Deewana…
Lekin,
Jab Uska Message Aata Hai To…
Chehre Pe Ajeeb Si Smile Aati Hai.. .
Aur Biwi Ko Ehsaas Hota Hai Ke
“Tedha Hai Par Mera Ha...
Bachcho Ki Umra Kya Hai?
Train me TT: Madam Bachcho Ki Umar Kya hai?
Madam:
2 SaaL,
2.5 SaaL
Aur 3 SaaL,
TT:
Madam Umar Chahe Kam Btao
Par “GAP” To Thik Se bolo..
Bachche hai ya pille..!! :...
Dimag Ki Jaanch Karne Ka Upaay
Agar aap apne dimag ki jaanch karna chahte hain..
to yeh upaay apnaaiye…
Ek gaay (cow) ke saamne khade ho jayiye
Agar gaay aapke paas aati hai,
to samjh lena ki aapke dimag mein Bhoosa hai!
aur agar door chali jaati hai,
to aapka dimaag Khaali hai :-D :-P
ise kehte hain chit bhi meri, pat bhi meri ;-) SHARE karo ...
IPhone 6 WhatsApp Jokes Are Here – Have Fun!
When u fall down and your iPhone 6 is in your pocket and u hear a crack,
u’ll just be thinking
“Lord pls let that be my leg” :-D
—————————
Congratulations… iphone 6 launched..
The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9
—————————
iPhone users who’ve been saying
“I love my small iPhone, Android phones are too big for me” all these years…. Apple just orphaned you…!!
—————————
Gujjus will not be affected by iPhone 6 launch…
They will continue to flash their iPhone 4S and say
“iPhone Chhe”.
—————————
With...
Funny Asaram Bapu Shayari
Raghupati raghav raja raam,
Jail ke andar Aasaram!
Sadhu ban ke aise kaam,
Kaidi ban ke karo Aaram!
Dekh liye apna anjaam,
Hue budhaape mein Badnaam!
Jhoote pakhandi ke naam,
Dekh ka hai yeh Paigaam!
Khud ko kehte the bhagwan,
Pakde gaye na Jhandu Balm!
Jo yeh post share kare, usko Jaadoo ki jhappi
Aur jo na kare use Aasaram baapu ki Pappi...
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